Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs on this earth. You have to feed them, clothe them and teach them the ways of the world… but I truly think there might even be a harder job out there and that is being a foster parent.
Yes, you are still in charge of feeding, clothing them and again teaching them the ins and outs of the world we live in, but as foster parents you might be dealing with social issues, learning disabilities, physical disabilities, abuse etc. and then they might not even end up staying with you, after all, is said and done.
All you really can do is love them for the time that you have them.
Almost 3 years ago my sister Amanda and her husband became foster parents after taking all the required classes, home visits, background checks of them and family members, evaluations about them as a couple from family & friends and so on.
They got to foster a then two and half-year-old girl. We will name her Peanut. (because Children in foster care can’t be showcased on any social media, no photos, and no real names) I didn’t know this until Peanut came into their lives.
The first time I met Peanut she had me wrapped around her little two and half-year-old finger and has never let go. She became my niece that day.
Flash Forward to… May 18th, 2018
My sister, her husband and Peanut officially became a family. Many people have told my family that they are very lucky that this has gone so smoothly. I can tell you there were many times that we as a family were worried that we would have to say good-bye to Peanut. Yes, in some cases foster children get placed in many different homes before getting adopted if ever.
Peanut has only been with my sister and brother-in-law and now they have the papers that make them officially a family. But in truth, they became a family that cold winter night that Peanut was dropped at their doorstep; wearing a pink jacket, and a look of worry with tear-stained cheeks. The months that my sister slept on the floor in Peanut’s room just, so she wouldn’t have a night terror and if she did Amanda would be right there to make sure she was ok and let her know that she was safe and loved so much. And maybe have to do another monster check under the bed and closet. The days it took Peanut to even allow Brian to go into her room without yelling at the top of her lungs, now she is for sure a Daddy’s little girl. I know both of them wouldn’t have it any other way.
I know I wasn’t the first family member to get on the bandwagon of Peanut. My stepdad Pat and Peanut have a special bond. He was one of the first males that she liked and showed her beautiful smile too. They love to joke around with each other. My mother Randie would do anything for Peanut. Peanut and her love to put on make-up together, enjoy “fancy shoes” and they have some of the same mannerisms. The first day that she met Peanut she named her “Ra-Ra”. Peanut made my mother a grandmother that day. For my father peanut loved him because he has doggies or “uaggies” but now they also share a bond. It’s cute seeing her cuddling up with him to watch a movie or how they go together to walk the “uaggies” He is enjoying spoiling his grand-daughter. As for myself Peanut and I have the same kind of humor and we both are “people watchers”. The first time I met her she also couldn’t say my name correctly she called me “Ber-Ber”. So, I’m now aunt Ber-Ber. I enjoy the little nickname that she gave me. And when she asks to play a game on my “tabit” (i-pad) it is very hard for me to say no.
Yes, I understand that the foster care system tries to get the child back to their “Birthday Mom” and “Birthday Dad” (Peanut’s names for her biological parents). Sometimes it’s just not the best for the child. I think they love her but in their own way, they have some issues of their own to figure out as well.
Peanut please know that you are loved and are one of the most important people in my life. Welcome to the family sweetheart.
Love you to the moon and back,