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Some Shoes Aren’t Made For Walking

The moment you get on the topic of shoes, men and women are not on the same page. Men just don’t understand the all-consuming love-affairobsession that many women have. Men can get away with only owning three pairs of shoes: everyday shoes, dress shoes and weekend shoes. Women match their shoes to their outfits and you know how many we have of those. I believe our love for fashionable footwear begins shortly after we learn to walk. Many parents even bronze that first pair we wear. My parents did that with mine. When I was a toddler, I would slip on a pair of my mother’s shoes – high heels, of course – and I would pretend to be my mom or Wonder Women, depending on my mood. My first pair of shoes that I fell in love with was a pair of black Mary Janes. I always had to wear them when I went to the hospital to visit my grandpa Tyler at work. I just loved the sound they made in the long white hospital hallways. I would even dance down the hallway. They were my “tap shoes.” One time my mom had to explain to me why […]
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Juror #113

In the 14 years of being eligible for jury duty, I have never been picked. Is this truly a system based on random selection? I would have won the Power Ball jackpot by now if I was playing every time they needed a juror. I’m like the last kid getting picked for a team. They are actually going back and picking previously-chosen players, such as my mom, dad and even Jason. It’s personal now. What was I not good enough to sit on a jury? Are there certain juror standards that I wasn’t living up to? Just give me a chance. After work, I went to our mailbox and there it was waiting for me. No, it wasn’t anything that I needed to call the bomb squad about. It was an official document with my full name. It was a summons for jury duty. My day had come. The letter informed me that I would have to call on Thursday after 4 p.m. to see if they need Pool Group #GR08. They may need me to call back several more times before they tell me whether they need me. I write on every calendar Ican find in bright red ink, […]
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Something New For New Years

Here we are again. It’s that time of the year when Baby New Year is slapped on his bottom by Dr. Dick Clark and nurse Ryan Seacrest and is welcomed into the world by thousands of people in Time Square, along with millions watching in there homes. It makes you think about making that New Year’s resolution yet again. So, you might be wondering what my resolution is this year. OK, I’ll tell you. My New Years resolution this year has two parts to it. Doesn’t it sound so top secret that way? Part one is to keep on eating healthy and to exercise, blah, blah you know the drill; but part two is different and new. I will be trying something new every month, something I’ve never done before or have been afraid to try. It’s a resolution that I can keep along with part one. To tell you the truth, it’s one that I can keep without really trying. It’s only 12 new things. Maybe I might take a cooking class in February or try water skiing for the month of August, or curl up and read the complete works on Jane Austen in November. Sure, some months […]
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Bird Clock Is Driving Me Cuckoo!

This last weekend, I was at my mom and stepdad’s for a short visit. We talked and so on and time just flew on by. When I heard the kingfisher bird call, wow, I didn’t know it was that late. That’s right. My mom is a proud owner of a genuine plastic singing bird clock, that has been approved by the Bird Watchers Society. I know you can hardly control your enthusiasm. Just to recap, I don’t really like birds, and I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual. But my mom loves them. She puts up bird feeders and bird baths and plants flowers that attract them. She has done everything short of joining the Bird Watchers Society. I don’t really remember who bought the clock for her. Maybe she even bought it for herself. “Yep, a signing bird clock would be a lovely addition to our home. It will look lovely in the hallway.” Now in case you have been living under a rock for the last decade or so and haven’t seen a commercial or scanned the “As Seen on TV” aisle in the stores, let me explain how it works. It’s sort of like the modern day […]
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Are You Ready For Some Football!

Now with the World Cup done and over with for a while now. We can officially move on to what we Americans call football. And with this comes everybody’s favorite office time waster after playing solitaire and tweeting; managing a fantasy football team. Of course, before you can manage a team, you have to come up with a team name. What I found out in my research. Yes that’s what I’m calling it! – is fantasy football team names can be funny, odd and occasionally crude. But many play off there favorite team or player. Such as Favre Dollar Foot Longs, Aaron\s Lve, Cabbage Packers Kids, Lambeau Leaping Lizards, Pimpin Ain’t Breesy and Packinators. Another direction people take is using a pop culture reference from a TV show, movie or a song. Here are a few examples that I found when “researching” Benny and the Jets, Breesuss my homeboy, Don’t get your jock strap in a bunch. Run Forest Run, Yippy Ki Yay, Marshall Fauker and Got Jock Itch. Then there are just the plain odd ones. Like they are part of an inside joke. I can’t help but think they want to make it hard to have a league […]
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